"Voulez-vous coucher avec moi? Ce soir?" rattles out of the loudspeakers on the Barbotto, a steep mountain road in the hinterland of the Adriatic coast. The popular song in French is intended to get the cyclists going - who are currently tackling a particularly steep section of the Granfondo Nove Colli. With gradients peaking at around 18 per cent.
I'm fighting in the middle of a large crowd of cyclists. Sure, the lyrics are meant as a joke. I'd certainly like to lie down. But immediately. I've already zigzagged around 90 kilometres through the hills of Romagna, and the terrain is only part of the challenge: on the third Sunday in May, the sun burns mercilessly from the sky and the temperatures are above 30 degrees. Even the winners of the Nove Colli later complain about the heat of the day. Shared suffering between the best and the masses of participants.
At the Barbotto, cyclists traditionally find themselves at a crossroads. Some, after the fourth long climb of the day, plummet towards the finish in Cesenatico, the seaside resort down on the Adriatic coast - for them, the Barbotto is the final difficulty on the 130-kilometre "short course" of the cycling marathon, which has existed since 1971. The alternative, the full programme: more than 200 kilometres over nine long and sometimes steep stretches in the hills of Romagna - it is not for nothing that the event is called Nove Colli: nine hills. The two routes separate shortly after the Barbotto.
I really wanted to tick off the long distance at the Granfondo Nove Colli again. And so I set off at six o'clock in the morning like around 7,800 participants (around 9,000 were registered) to the start at Porto Canale in Cesenatico, where the race through the marshland behind the Adriatic coast begins. As if the prospect of a long day in the challenging training grounds of the pirate Pantani wasn't frightening enough, the early Sunday morning begins with adrenaline rushes.
The first moment of shock shortly after getting up: The breakfast room in the hotel in Gatteo Mare remains dark and empty. Breakfast was scheduled to start at five - all requests had been recorded by the hotel manager the previous evening. But there is no milk, no bread, no cappuccino. Fortunately, an emergency supply I brought with me to be on the safe side helps me. I am apparently the only cyclist in the beach hotel - only five kilometres from the start.
The second scary moment follows a little later along the Port Canale. Suddenly, the barriers on the railway line that you have to cross when entering the starting blocks close in front of me. The Italian railway knows no mercy. Meanwhile, the track announcer within earshot sends the first starting block on its way. The train is a long time coming. But finally it is just in time for the blue starting block, the fourth of a total of nine.
Off we go - with increasing speed, the starting block is tattered over the first 30 kilometres towards the hilly terrain, sorted into fast starters and those who take it easy at the beginning. It takes around half an hour for all participants to cross the first timing mat at Nove Colli. The race continues at breakneck speed through roundabouts - ambulances at the side of the track announce the first victims of the racing speed in the dense crowd. At an average speed of over 40 kilometres, we reach the first climb, the Polenta. At the top of the highest point of the hill, an Italian calls out to the group: "That was the first - out of nine. And the easiest." Thanks for the tip - I didn't need it.
On the descents, the comfort of the 28-millimetre tyres helps over the legendarily poor asphalt in Romagna. The roads here often look as if moles have tried to bore their way through the tarmac and the many frost cracks are treacherous. The hairpin bends on the descents, which sometimes close unexpectedly, require a good eye.
The deep, wooded river valleys that have carved their way through the foothills of the Apennines on the way to the Adriatic provide a pleasant coolness - the cyclists will be thrown on the barbecue soon enough here at the Nove Colli. Especially as the refreshment stops, which are urgently needed for refuelling on this day, are not always located where they are marked on the elevation profile. At my first stop at a "Ristoro" after 100 kilometres, the vehicle with the sign "Fine Gara Ciclistica" races past me. The race character of the event ends with the passage of the first final vehicle, as the roads are no longer closed.
From now on, the battle through the traffic begins, culminating in a stop in Novafeltria. There, a marshal waves his flag as if something terrible has happened - but the volunteers have simply lost control of the traffic situation. An avalanche of traffic clogs up the village, the marshals look for a gap in the traffic for the cyclists before continuing. The biggest climb of the day follows: Monte Pugliano: 500 metres in altitude in one go, almost 800 metres above the water level of the nearby Adriatic Sea.
At the last refreshment points, I reach for performance-enhancing substances. No more Sali, as the Italians call the iso-drinks, but I pour three cups of Pepsi Cola down my throat. And the short-chain sugar acts as a turbo over the last tarmac ramps. Afterwards, I hurtle over the picturesque ridges towards the coast.
A handful of riders drag the peloton round in circles towards the finish and we put on a final sprint. Done, after seven and a half hours, not as fast as we had hoped, but without crashing, without cramps and still with energy reserves in our legs at the end. At the finish line, a hostess hands you a commemorative medal - followed by a pasta party. Or a dip in the Adriatic just a few metres away. Where else can you do that?
At 18:20 the 51st edition of the Nove Colli is history - an Australian finishes last and is celebrated. And what happens next? It will be different, assures Agostini, who has headed the organisation for two years. The event is to become smaller and more refined - five-digit participant numbers are to be a thing of the past. The record of 12,000 participants from previous years will probably remain for eternity.
And he promises a "surprise": The finale of the course is to be changed - with new mountains? Only one thing remains certain: the Nove Colli will continue to have nine outstanding climbs in its elevation profile. That has been carved in stone - since 1971.
Later, the participants receive some sad news. The organiser of the Nove Colli announces the death of an Italian participant - not as a result of a crash, but due to illness, according to the race doctor's communiqué. Even the sports medical certificates required for every cyclist in Italy cannot prevent such strokes of fate for friends and family.

Editor