Battery-powered mini-pumps have quickly attracted a great deal of interest amongst road cyclists. They are designed to provide rapid assistance in the event of a puncture and to adjust tyre pressure precisely, without the need for laborious manual pumping. So much for the facts.
Didn’t you see that? Pump it up once, please!
There are some things you don’t need to understand.
For me, electric mini-pumps for road bikes are a must-have.
Recently, somewhere in Upper Bavaria: there’s a bloke standing in the woods with a bike worth 8,000 euros. Carbon fibre as far as the eye can see. Top-of-the-range fittings and electronic gear changes.
But there’s not enough air in the tyre.
My colleague has already repaired the puncture in his tubeless tyre. Now he just needs to pump a bit of air into the tyre.
He rummages around in his jersey pocket and pulls out a small black device, then presses a few buttons on the display.
And then the thing starts to screech.
A mini electric pump.
It is placed on the valve and starts to whir. Loudly. Shrill. Annoying. Out in the countryside, the electronic hum mingles with the warbling of the blackbirds.
I’m standing there thinking: WTF?
The bloke’s got a ridiculously expensive bike, where every gramme has been shaved off; he’s even shaved his legs for better aerodynamics, but the electric pump. An essential item in case the tyre goes flat – to spare his already scrawny biceps.
Yet there is a device that works perfectly for precisely this kind of emergency.
It is said that Mini pump, mechanical.
Mechanical. No battery. No USB-C. No app. No firmware update.
Don’t get me wrong: I’ve never been against e-bikes. And I’ve always found the elitist posturing of the Lycra crowd a bit silly.
But the electric pump is a step too far.
A device like that can weigh over 200 grams and, of course, needs to be charged.
As the saying goes: after all, you can save weight by putting it back on somewhere else.
What actually bothers me about it isn’t the pump at all. It’s the noise in the woods. And I’m fascinated by this trend: nothing is allowed to be a struggle any more. Everything has to become easier, faster and more automated. Even things that don’t require any effort at all.
Open the boot yourself? No! Just wave your foot under the bumper once, and the boot lid opens. Press the button, and it closes again straight away.
The next logical step is the electric water bottle.
It recognises when we get thirsty, moves automatically towards our mouth and pumps the water in.
Oh well. Never mind.
At some point, that screeching thing had pumped up the tyre.
The tyre was full.
And all without any biceps. That’s how it should be. Not!
What do you think? Am I being too harsh in my criticism of the mini e-pumps? Let us know in the comments.
